5 Thoughtful Ways Employers And HR Teams Can Support Employees Through Difficult Times
An employee tells you they've been diagnosed with cancer.
Or that someone they love has died.
You want to say the right thing. You want them to know they're supported. But in moments like these, it can be surprisingly difficult to know what to do next.
And sometimes, the fear of getting it wrong means we do less than we intended.
Supporting someone through one of life's hardest moments isn't about having the perfect words or knowing how to make things better. Often, it's about the small things that tell someone:
We see what you're going through.
We're here.
And we haven't forgotten about you.
Supporting an employee through cancer, serious illness or bereavement requires both practical and emotional support. That can mean acknowledging what they're experiencing, offering flexibility, asking what they need, checking in over time and finding thoughtful ways to show they haven't been forgotten.
1. Acknowledge what the employee is going through
You know what has happened.
They know you know.
And neither of you quite knows what to say.
Silence can sometimes feel louder than saying the imperfect thing.
When someone is experiencing cancer, serious illness or bereavement, uncertainty about what to say can sometimes lead us to say nothing at all.
You don't need to make things better. You probably can't. But you can make sure the person doesn't feel that everyone is avoiding what they're going through.
A simple acknowledgement can go a long way:
“I'm really sorry you're going through this. We're thinking of you and we're here to support you.”
Managers should also be mindful of privacy. Ask the employee what, if anything, they are comfortable having shared with colleagues rather than assuming the wider team should know.
Sometimes saying something imperfectly, but genuinely, is better than saying nothing at all.
2. Offer flexibility during cancer treatment, illness or bereavement
Imagine having to explain, for the third time that month, that you have another hospital appointment on Thursday.
Or having to ask again whether you can work from home because treatment has left you exhausted.
Cancer treatment, grief and recovery rarely fit neatly around a working week. Treatment schedules, fatigue, appointments and recovery can mean an employee's ability to work changes from week to week.
Where possible, employers can consider practical adjustments such as flexible working hours, remote working, adjusted workloads or time away for appointments, depending on the organisation's policies and the individual's circumstances.
But there's another small consideration that can make a big difference:
Don't make someone repeatedly explain or justify what they need.
Having one clear conversation about what flexibility is available — and revisiting it when circumstances change — can remove an additional source of stress during an already difficult period.
Support the manager, too...
There's another person who may be unsure what to do next: their manager.
Make sure managers understand what workplace support, policies and adjustments are available, so the responsibility doesn't fall on one person to figure out the right response in the moment.
When someone already has a lot to carry, workplace support shouldn't become another thing they have to manage.
3. Ask the employee what support they actually need
One employee might appreciate their manager checking in every few days.
Another might desperately want work to be the one place where nobody asks how they're doing.
There isn't one "right" way to support someone.
Some people will want their colleagues to know what they're going through. Others won't. Some will appreciate regular check-ins. For someone else, work might be one of the few places where life still feels normal.
Rather than guessing, ask.
You might say:
“How would you like us to support you over the next few weeks?”
Or:
“Would you like me to check in, or would you prefer to come to me when you need something?”
Giving someone the choice can return a little control at a time when much of life may feel outside of their control.
And remember that their answer may change. What feels helpful today might not be what they need several months from now.
Keep listening. Keep asking. And follow their lead.
4. Continue supporting employees beyond the first few weeks
When difficult news first arrives, people show up.
Messages come in. Cards arrive. People ask how they can help.
And then, gradually, everyday life moves on.
Except for the person going through it.
Cancer treatment may continue for months. Recovery can be unpredictable. And grief doesn't have an expiry date.
The first birthday after losing someone might still be ahead. So might Christmas. An anniversary. A return to work. Another round of treatment.
That's why some of the most meaningful support can happen long after the initial news.
Consider putting a reminder in the diary to check in again — not just next week, but a month or several months later.
It doesn't need to be a big conversation. Sometimes a simple message is enough:
“Just wanted you to know we're still thinking of you.”
Sometimes being remembered later means even more than being remembered at the beginning.
5. Mark difficult moments with a thoughtful gesture
There are some moments when an email from HR doesn't quite feel like enough.
Practical workplace support matters enormously. But sometimes a thoughtful gesture communicates something that policies and procedures can't:
You're a person to us, not simply an employee.
That gesture doesn't need to be elaborate.
A handwritten card from colleagues.
A meal arriving at the door.
Something comforting during treatment.
A thoughtful care package that simply says, we're thinking of you.
Thoughtful support isn't about doing what we would want. It's about understanding what they need.
At Elephant in the Room Gifts, we created our care packages specifically for moments like these — when you want someone to know they're supported, but finding the right words or gesture can be difficult.
For HR teams and organisations, our employee care packages offer a thoughtful way to acknowledge a colleague experiencing cancer treatment, serious illness, bereavement or recovery — in a way that feels personal and considered.
The things people remember
Policies provide the framework for supporting people through difficult moments. But often, it's the human moments within that support that stay with us.
The manager who kept checking in.
The colleague who dropped dinner at the door.
The team who remembered three months later.
The small package that arrived on a particularly difficult day.
Because when life becomes difficult, the smallest gestures can suddenly feel very big.
Sometimes the most meaningful thing an employer can communicate is simply: we haven't forgotten about you.
Frequently asked questions:
- What should an employer say to an employee who has cancer?
You don't need the perfect words. Acknowledge what they're going through without trying to fix the situation. A simple “I'm sorry you're going through this. We're here to support you” can be enough.
Ask what information they are comfortable sharing with colleagues and what support would be helpful.
- How can employers support an employee during cancer treatment?
Support might include flexible working arrangements, adjusted workloads, time for appointments and regular conversations about what the employee needs. Their needs may change throughout treatment and recovery, so flexibility and ongoing communication can be important.
- How should a workplace support an employee after a bereavement?
Acknowledge the loss, offer appropriate time and flexibility, and ask what communication they prefer. Support can also continue after they return to work, particularly around significant dates or in the months that follow.
- What can a company send an employee going through cancer or bereavement?
Thoughtful options might include a handwritten message, practical meal support, something comforting or a carefully chosen care package. What matters most is that the gesture feels personal and appropriate to what they're going through.
Supporting an employee through a difficult time?
Elephant in the Room Gifts creates thoughtfully curated care packages for cancer treatment, serious illness, bereavement and recovery, with gifting options available for organisations and HR teams.
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